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Wednesday, September 29, 2010

You know you're getting old when the Hell's Angels start to look young...


Before you ask, that's not Amelie. If it was, she'd be flooring the accelerator and trying to ram-raid the biscuit tin. The girl above is actually a child model from the Toys R Us autumn collection. But come the weekend, she'll be replaced by my daughter.

It's Amelie's second birthday on Saturday. Which is worrying, because it means the terrible twos haven't started yet, and her behaviour's going to get even worse. I might have to leave home for a year. When the girl turned one, Lisa remarked that we'll have at least one more birthday free of pester-power, where we can buy her whatever we like. How wrong she was. In the past few weeks, Amelie's asked us for everything from a watch ("Ammy wear it") to a kite ("Ammy fly it") and a cake ("Ammy eat it").

But the main recurring theme of her demands has been a bike. She only has to walk past a motorcycle in the street and she immediately shouts "Ammy want a bike! Ammy ride it!". The only way to stop her committing grand theft auto on a Yamaha is to promise to buy her one for her birthday.

Unfortunately, having realised that she's definitely going to get a bike, she's moved swiftly on to the next item on her wish-list. She's now informed us that she'd like a Baby Born with a "messy mouth". And before you ask, yes, such a thing does exist...

She's only seen the TV commercial twice, but it's enough for her to realise that her life won't truly be complete until she's sitting on the sofa, wiping ice cream from the lips of a plastic doll. I don't know if she's an advertiser's dream or just Charles Saatchi's nightmare, but she's spent the past week saying "Baby Born, messy mouth, Ammy want it, Daddy get it". I tend to respond with an expectant "And what do you say..?". To which she replies "More Ribena".

But as luck would have it, my Aunt gave us a £5 voucher for Toys R Us on Sunday. She cut it out of Saga Magazine. Not that she's stereotypically old or anything. So straight after work yesterday, we dumped Amelie with Lisa's Mum and headed to Hove for a bit of retail therapy. We returned two hours later with an electric trike, a thirty quid doll, a Winnie the Pooh watch and two rolls of Igglepiggle wrapping paper.

I followed that up today by popping into Horsham during my lunch break and buying a Cadbury's Buttons birthday cake, a box of pink candles (about 18 more than I need), and a Maisy Mouse DVD. Added to that is the big bag of gifts my Mum slipped me on Sunday. The wardrobe's currently so full of presents it's like Christmas Day in Narnia.

So I need to go and wrap them up. I'd do it tomorrow, but I've got something else planned...

5 comments:

Phil's Mum said...

I'm sure she'll manage to make the bike go, but will she (and you) be able to stop it?  'The hills are alive with the sound of.............' shouting? crying? laughing? police syrens? 

Phil's Mum said...

sorry, sirens!

Dave said...

Get rid of the TV.

melee said...

An electric bike? That's not going to help her burn off the bic-bics, is it... m X

Phil's Mum said...

No, but Phil & Lisa will lose weight!