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Friday, June 10, 2011

I had an e-mail yesterday from the American President. Well, an American President. It actually came from the President of the Arizona Foundation for Eye Health, a non-profit sight-saving institution in Phoenix which is home to the 'Eye Carumba! Vision Boutique'.

Eye Carumba!No, seriously. Their motto is "Para la salud del ojo!", which I think is Latin for "Here's mud in your eye!".

To be honest, this time yesterday I'd never heard of the AFEH, but I'm already convinced they're the kind of organisation I should be working for. Not only do they name their projects with the kind of puns I live for, but they do the same type of retinal screening I do, organise an Annual Golf Challenge, and have a Bassett Hound as a mascot.

Willie ValdezNo, seriously. That's Willie Valdez, the AFEH dog, and according to their website, he "was chosen to represent AFEH in spreading the word about eye health" because "the Bassett Hound breed has a genetic predisposition to Glaucoma, a sight threatening eye disease also found in humans". So he knows how most of my patients feel.

Not only do Bassett Hounds get glaucoma, but I have it on good authority (I'm talking Wikipedia here) that chinchillas get Asteroid Hyalosis. So I'm pushing for the NHS to buy us a departmental rodent to take out to clinics. Not only are they educational, but they're very soothing to cuddle. It's what I call stroke care for the elderly.

Anyhoo, the President e-mailed me in response to something I'd written elsewhere on the web (think WikiLeaks, but without the sexual assaults), and asked to be added to my mailing list. So I'm trying to find a way of telling her I don't have one, without sounding unprofessional. I need to keep in touch though. With puns, pets and possibly my own Winnebago, I could be within reach of my perfect job offer. And having driven through the rain to Crawley Hospital this morning whilst listening to the latest drought news on the radio, I'm even prepared for the weather. Watch out Arizona, here I come!


jon the bassist said...

Phil you need to focus your sights on that winnebago (dont you love that word) and cure the yanks of that terrible green eye problem ps What is that?

Phil said...

It's caused by jealousy. And it's such an unattractive condition that it makes you look like the back end of a bus. Or the side of a motorhome.

jon the bassist said...

Can it be cured in photoshop?

Dave said...

'Para la salud del ojo!' means 'take that lettuce out of your eye! It explains the green shade.

Phil said...

In conjuction with tablets. Either iPad 2 or Motorola Xoom.