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Thursday, June 02, 2011

I think I've unmasked the owner of the local cannabis factory...

Cannabis Factory
That's Amelie the Gardener inspecting her pot plants. She's definitely growing weed, but I'm not sure it'll ever get you high. Unless you count the second floor of a tower block.

I was out in the sun, screening the locals at Crowborough Hospital yesterday. It's always an easy clinic because the residents of Crowborough don't tend to get sick. They pay a man to get sick for them. But having discussed horticulture with a few people who've watched their staff work wonders in the grounds of their manor houses, I felt it was about time I returned to an estate of a different kind, and sowed a few seeds on our balcony.

It's six weeks since Amelie and I planted some sunflowers, and the three seedlings we produced were going great guns on the windowsill. Unfortunately those guns were immediately shot to hell the moment I put them out on the balcony. We repotted the flowers a fortnight ago and placed them outside, just as the second ice age blew in on a tornado. Our balcony's been like a cross between 'The Day After Tomorrow' and 'The Wizard of Oz' for the past two weeks, and having watched the leaves promptly leave, I now look like I'm growing a trio of three-foot bamboo plants. Or I would do if they were still alive. Frankly the canes they're staked to look more vibrant.

On the plus side, we have two tomato plants and a courgette bush, which were kindly donated to me by my Mum when I claimed that we couldn't afford to eat. But in addition to those, Amelie and I bought a 'Pepper Starter Kit' from Asda a few weeks ago, which we've never done anything with. To be honest, Amelie lost interest when she realised it wasn't Peppa Pig.

But having been inspired by the English country gardens of Crowborough yesterday, my daughter and I finally headed out onto the balcony after work today to celebrate the changing of the seasons and grind out a few pepper plants.

Here's Amelie watering the compost pellets...

Pepper Grinder
... and then planting the seeds in front of a concrete hedgehog...

... before finally reading the instructions...

Harvest Festival
... which say "Plant: February to April" and "Harvest: July to October". It's the second of June today. I think we'll be giving them away as Christmas presents.


Phil's Mum said...

Those photos make your balcony look quite grand!

Dave said...

It looks just like my greenhouse.  A bit.

Phil said...

I bet you've got boots like that too.

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