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Friday, May 13, 2005

As I write this, Timmy is wrapped up in the living room curtains, trying to pull down an expensive table lamp by its electrical cord. Fortunately though, I'm past caring. I've already come home from driving Lisa to work this morning to find that he'd thrown up his breakfast all over the living room carpet, so the thought of a large china table lamp falling on Timmy's head is actually quite an appealing one.

I'm also currently nursing an injured Oscar, who was attacked in the garden half an hour ago by an evil black cat (possibly one of Timmy's relatives), and needed rescuing after he was cornered by the clematis. The way he ran indoors and straight up to Lorraine's bedroom the moment I'd chased away the other cat, makes he think he's not quite the macho tiger he makes himself out to be.

But he's currently bleeding from the whiskers. So I'm expecting to find cat blood on my pillow later.

Anyhoo, yesterday was another afternoon of pizza and wine, but this time with a different friend - M (who, like H, would rather die than be identified on someone else's blog). I hadn't met M before, but we got on like a house on fire, particularly after I found she was willing to tell me about all the dodgy perms Lisa's had in the last twenty years. I'm still in negotiations for some photos.

When M left at 3pm to pick up her daughter from a man with a foot fetish, Lisa and I headed into town to meet her sister for some wedding-related clothes shopping. Lisa's nephew turned out to be as big a fan of women's clothes shops as I am, so we snuck off to the Lego store and attempted to build a battle cruiser with three wheels. When Lisa eventually texted saying "Where are you?", we simply ran next door to BHS, crept through to the shopping centre, and pretended we'd been in a bookshop.

It was a plan which couldn't fail. Until my companion asked his Mum for a Lego Star Wars figure like the one he'd just seen.