The BBC have issued a press release today about the Last Laugh competition. Having previously announced that there were "over 4,000" entries, they've now confirmed the exact figure...

4,816.

I'm sorry, but 4,816 is not "over 4,000" (don't argue with me on this one). 4,816 is "almost 5,000". "Over 4,000" would be 4,023.

The BBC are also claiming that "It would appear to be the biggest ever comedy script writing competition in the UK, even possibly the biggest script writing competition ever".

Lovely. So to make the shortlist of 32, I now need to be amongst the top 0.66% of entries. This is getting ridiculous. But obviously I'm still staying off the phone in case they ring.

Anyhoo, today is officially day one of mine and Lisa's one year anniversary celebrational extravaganza. We're off to see Neil Diamond in the glamorous location of Ipswich football ground. I bought the tickets as my anniversary present to Lisa back in October, when we'd only been together for five months. Which shows what a naturally optimistic person I am. Although I'm convinced it's going to rain tonight.

But to prepare for the occasion we popped into Ipswich this afternoon to see if we could spot Neil sucking on a Werther's Original in the Saga holiday shop. Sadly we couldn't, but we did see a man in a Neil Diamond t-shirt in Next (he was younger than me - he should be ashamed of himself), and I encountered a group of old ladies discussing the concert in the Cancer Research shop.

Tomorrow is equally as exciting. We're heading back down to Brighton for the day (as you do) for the wedding of Lisa's sister. I've had my suit dry-cleaned, so she's not backing out of it now.