You know your cat-sitting's going well when you let the cat out on a Sunday morning, and Lisa says "Quick! Lock the door before he comes back!"

I'm not sure they've completely bonded. Possibly it has something to do with Timmy's decision to ignore the litter tray and use the bathroom and living room as his toilet. But on the plus side, Lisa said that clearing it up put her off her sausage and tomato crisps, so she'll be nine and a half stone in no time.

Anyhoo, we've successfully transferred from Brighton to nearby Portslade, after Lorraine left for Antigua on Friday morning, leaving us in sole charge of Oscar (formerly Mr Evil Cat, now everybody's favourite feline, due to his uncanny ability to use a cat flap) and Timmy (whose popularity is rapidly declining).

I drove over here at lunchtime on Friday to feed the ravenous beasts, failed to fit any of my supplies into the freezer, and headed off to Sainsburys for non-frozen food, before rushing back across Brighton (via a 20 minute traffic jam) to pick up Lisa's sister and transport her into town to meet Lisa's nephew from school. I then spent a leisurely three hours being ridden around the living room and having chips thrown at me, before taking said nephew to pick up Lisa from work. She was a little late coming out, so he suggested we leave it and go home, but I held firm and said we'd give her five minutes. Fortunately she made it in time.

An evening trip to Asda for ice cream, and we eventually made it back over to Portslade, where Lisa made herself at home by chucking out half of Lorraine's potatoes.

On Saturday we had an afternoon of pizza and wine with Lisa's friend H. I agreed to sacrifice my horse racing viewing, after I won twenty quid on the first race, and decided it was better to go and eat pizza whilst £20 up, rather than stay in front of the TV all afternoon, and then have to sell the pizza to pay off my gambling debts.

This morning we read the Sunday papers. And then used them to clear up cat mess. We're off to Sainsburys now for some more sausage and tomato crisps. There's only so much Timmy can do in that department.