Today's Timmy tale (are we up to nine yet? I'm desperate to use the pun "cat o' nine tales") involves toilets. And not of the litter tray variety. Having placed all comestibles out of Timmy's reach last night, and generally cat-proofed the kitchen, Lisa made her way into the bathroom at 6:30 this morning to find him perched on the edge of the toilet with his tongue stuck down the bowl. So let's hope she was wrong about him licking her sponge.

I think I'll squirt Domestos around the rim and see what effect that has.

Anyhoo, the good news is that it's Thursday and I've finally managed to get Lisa to work for 8am. Which is just as well, coz she's finishing at 12. Which gives me just enough time to try on the fabulous summery clothes I bought in the charity shops yesterday (which include a Cat in the Hat t-shirt. Oh yes indeed. It'll go well with my Mr Happy one, which I bought mainly for reasons of irony), find they don't fit me, cry, and then go and shave ready to meet Lisa's friend M this afternoon.

Lisa and I are quite happy to entertain when it's not our house. We've even offered to cook. Well, ok, we're sticking a pizza in the oven, but that won't stop us hiding the box and pretending we made it ourselves. So I'd better get cracking...