Lord Brockett is currently live on daytime TV, discussing the merits of national service. You'd never think that just four days ago he was chasing girls in bikinis on Brighton beach. Still, if he's occupied in a TV studio, it means I can safely return to the south coast. So I'll be off then.

Lisa has just e-mailed me a shopping list. It makes perfect sense: she's 200 yards from Safeway, I'm 135 miles away. Naturally I'll get the yoghurts.