This is the first time I've ever posted to my blog with an audience. I'm currently being watched via the ladder outside my living room window by two highly skilled scaffolding operatives, who are putting their years of extensive training to good use by taking down the monstrosity which has been adorning the front of my flat for the past three weeks. Appearances can be deceptive, because whilst I know that the scaffolding company would only employ people to stand halfway up ladders and swing large metal pipes around within inches of my double glazing if they're highly experienced technicians, they actually look like a couple of shifty 16 year olds in baseball caps.

But on the plus side, they probably can't read, so I'm ok saying that.

(I can see myself getting more hate mail at this rate. And the irony is I'm such a nice guy in real life. No, really, it's true).

I don't know what I feel more self conscious about - the fact that I'm sitting here writing my blog in public when I haven't shaved since Sunday, or the fact that I'm openly watching an episode of Trisha entitled "You're Too Old to be a Stripper".

Those guys have no idea just what an insight they're getting into my daily life.