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Friday, April 01, 2005

I've decided to turn over a new leaf. In the past I've tended to make too much of any slight cold or sniffle, falsely presenting them as major illnesses in an effort to attract large amounts of sympathy, and possibly chocolate-related gifts. But no more. I need to be grown-up and honest about my ailments and stop making a fuss about nothing. So from now on there'll be no childish attention-seeking and mentions of laryngitis and bronchial pneumonia every time I get a slight cough or sore throat. It's time to cut out the whining.

April Fool.

My cough's a lot worse today. I think it might be Asian Bird Flu. And I don't like the taste of my cough medicine. The 'Baby Chest Rub' my Mummy gave me is quite good though. Not that I've been rubbing it on my chest. I decided that since it's aimed at babies, it might not be designed for a hairy chest, so I've been putting it up my nose instead. Which might explain the intense burning sensation around my nostrils.

I'm supposed to be driving down to Brighton today too. Goodness knows how I'll manage it. Let's just hope they serve Lem-Sip at the Little Chef on the M23.

Actually, I'm not the only April Foolster around here today. Lisa's already tried to catch me out by e-mailing me this morning to say she's going to be in work at 8am on Monday. What does she take me for, an idiot?

Anyhoo, one of the best things about blogging is that you attract weirdos and stalkers make good online friends who send you crap in the post shower you with fabulous gifts. And so it is that I'd like to extend my heartfelt thanks to Donna (of Crash n Donna fame) who saw fit to send me this...


No, she hasn't sent me a dog, she's sent me a giant-sized picture of a dog. A Bichon Frise to be more precise. The back of the card describes it as an "extrovert, intelligent and confident breed", so I can see why Donna thought of me when she saw it. Lisa claims it looks like Uncle Albert from 'Only Fools and Horses', which is clearly ridiculous...

During the war...

... the Bichon Frise isn't wearing a hat.

But thanks Donna, you shouldn't have. No really, I mean it.